blame my mind!

did i suck at writing lately? :(
i mean, everything i wrote is kinda bored, i keep talking about the same thing. el ou vi i.

i re read my blog's arsip a year ago, yes i wrote about love, but i never forget write about my stupid silly life, my laugh, my family, my friends.

i dont know what happened. heheheheehe.

happy reading people, sorry for being dramaqueen. i was born this way.

if i act cool weird and freak around you that means i'm confused on how to act when i'm with you. argh!

voice.note

yesterday is his birthday :D

who is he? not your business :p

ahahahahahaha well, i didnt do anything special, i still awake 12am, but i didnt text or call him to say happy birthday, dont know i just dont want to make him feel that he is special, come on, yes he is :D

sooooooooooooooooooo, after wishing alone in my room i go sleep. :D

then i wake up in the morning look at recent update bbm, they change their display picture to his picture with personal message "happy birhtday blablabla" and i? no.. sorry xD

and i open my twitter account, look at timeline, so many people saying happy birthday to him, me? not. lazy. busy. HAHAHAHAHAHA sorry my bad.

and then i singing, recording my voice, i'm not good at making voice note ESPECIALLY that morning but i keep singing keep mentioning my wishes <3

the tittle of the voice note is "cempreng -_-"

and i sent it to my birthday boy yuhuuuuuuuuuuuuu~

then he replied, said thanks, said that my voicenote is special, *of course* then we have a long long long conversation till the night comes. in the afternoon, he gets surprise from his freinds, one of them asking me if i want to join them to go to his home, i said no, i dont want to disturb him, not in the kind of way. i know my position :D although i'm so envy with those guys who bring the tart and knock his room then they tell me he is topless when they come, i bet he looks very sexy hahahaha :D

eniwey, that nite he asked me "why i didnt come" and i just reply that text with one word "takut" then he asked again, "takut kenapa?" i swore that nite i have no idea how to answered. hihiihihi you wont believe that i've got your photo with the cake you wore a red shirt with sleepy face, still handsome, as always, i'm going crazy, you'll pay for this! >:D

oke once again just want to tell the world that i was sent you a stupid voice note at your 21st birthday. happy to become a little part of it. i heart you <:D

i play with colours

irronicaly romantic

i've heard you just got sick. should take a rest on the hospital. i hate hospital.
honestly, really sad to hear that your "ehem" is not as healty as you think.

we've been talked in bbm, you said you've got a lever. :(
i do believe that you're gonna get better soon.

dont know why i posted this but i just want to remember this as one of a nice story in my lifetime.
i planned to visit you in your second day, but no one picking me up to there, anddd well thats not easy to be me, i mean should i come? do you want me to come? i'm too gengsi to do that :(

everybody asked me with the same stupid question "udah jenguk?"
aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgggghhhh its not that i dont want, its abouttt hmmmm oke whatever.
and after all the turmoil of mind, confusion, doubt, interference, obstacles and barriers i eventually accompanied by Dee which just waiting in the car that night in the middle of the rain I decided to come to Siloam, just to see you.

I wear a purple jumpsuit that I look pretty with heart pounding and then knocked on your door, and then I saw you lying you look very weak due to being sick but still handsome, quiet room no family there is only Mamat, you guys saw me and smiled and Mamat went out and let us talk.
because i dont want to disturb you I think it's better to go home, we talked about many things about the illness about your friends really glad to see you. after touching yout hand and smile to Mamat i go home :))

i just cant believe we did!

you have no idea how hard i have to deal everything with myself until i'm standing in lobby and walk alone to lift just to see if you are fine.

g r o w i n g p a i n s

Aku menyapamu dalam ruang semu menjelang tidurku semacam ingin marah dan rindu yang melebur menjadi satu.

Lalu hingga detik kembali menuju pagi, aku masih tetap berdiri disini, di garis yang sama walaupun sudah berapa nama melewatinya.

Dia, kamu, kalian tak mampukah menarikkku dari garis itu? Membawaku dalam garismu.. langkahku tak seberat perkiraan kalian..

Walau terkadang kurangnya keyakinan membuat berada di garisku terasa lebih nyaman~

i'm glad

longtime no post. hehe
not THAT busy but yeah, sometimes you say a lot by saying less.
too much things that i wanna share but then i think what for? nothing cant help :( but alhamdulillah i'm doing everything good.