SHE.is.just.NOT.that.into.you.

Hello sir, sorry for being so cold, so arrogant or whatever you call it. I have to say this, I don’t have any feeling for you, so please would you mind to stay away?

I wonder why you’re keep texting me with all the simple stupid question everyday about my daily life? That’s not even your business sir. Why I have to tell you what am I doing? Where am I going? Why you keep saying don’t forget to eat? Why? I don’t even like you.

Seriously, you disturb me by doing something like that. By keep asking me anything,, I mean who the hell are you? My mom? By surprised me when you come into my house. Wow.

Nothing’s wrong with you, cute enough, good boy, but i heard you just broke up with your girlfriend because she dumped you for someone else, and for me you’re just too afraid of being alone, so you choose me, WHY ME??? Sorry for being soooooooooo negative thinking here but yes that’s all what I thought. If its love then no need to rush but look at you? You act like the world will ends, like I’ll die tomorrow, go move on, go heal you pain, need someone else as medicine then? Of course not me. Who the hell am I to fix you when I cant even fixed my heart? *sigh*

I used to be alone I feel fine, that’s why I hate it when someone comes closer keep try and try like there is no tomorrow, damn annoying. I do appreciated all the nice things you do. Thankyou.

But so sorry I cant help you, because my heart didn’t choose you, because you’re not an exception.

Sumpah.Pemuda

Haloo eniwey telat posting selamat hari sumpah pemudaaaa.

Sudahkah anda bersumpah? Pernah kah anda bersumpah?

Sumpah itu semacam sesuatu yg pasti akan dilakukan, atau bisa juga sejenis janji yang harus dilakukan, bisa juga kesaksian. Ntahlah.

Saya gak terlalu mendalami tentang sumpah pemuda, jujur aja bahkan kalo ditanya pun saya gak hafal tuh *jujur*

Tapi sebagai seorang pemuda oke pemudi kali yaaa saya belum pernah merasa bersumpah mungkin nanti kali yaa sumpah untuk selalu setia kepada dia yang masih ditangan Tuhan. *uhuk*

Eh tunggu dulu deh, tapi kayaknya sering sumpah -__________- sumpah demi Allah misalnya, apalagi kalo bertemu dengan orang orang yang gak gampang percaya jadi cara satu satunya untuk meyakinkannya ya dengan sumpah demi Allah :D #jangandicontoh

This posting getting pointless ya setelah dibaca baca. *bye*

PS: kalo memang harus bersumpah, bersumpah lah untuk hal yang baik. Seperti sumpah untuk sayang kepada kedua orang tua kita. Sekian.

EXIT (your EX is like a shIT)

Back to one year ago~ when I’m still close with that monster guy. Having a lot of time being together, doing assigntment so much laugh too much fight, we did all the good things, all the nice memories, I’ll never forget that, I swore.

And now, here I am. Try to reach my heart, feel fine without any pain that you made, you have already forgived.. no more left, no more, I don’t care if they didn’t believe this, I do, I’m totally move on with all the little things about him. :D so why am I still wrote this? Because suddenly I back at the core thinking of her who had you before~ still remember?

Let me tell you this bloggy, one moment in life that I never forget is in the beautiful afternoon in the middle of 2010 I got called from him, he asked me where I am then I answered “why“ he said he wanted to come.. then I don’t know everything seem so fast he was there, in front of my house, with one black car which I knew it wasn’t his car, he said someone wanted to see me.. I wondered who and you know what? He said “my ex”.

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENED ON EARTH? I though..

Why she want to meet me? Does she think I steal his boyfee? Of courseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

Hahahahahaha noooooooooooooooooo.. we’re friends. And always be friends.. friends with benefits.

What surprised me most is my eyes saw one little girl with Barbie style out from the car, beauty queen. Then I look at my self, bad, with boxer pants, bali shirt oversized, fat. I’m no beautyqueen, I’m just beautiful me :””)

She introduced herself, dan yaaaaaa semua terjadi begitu saja tak begitu penting. Walaupun sangat sopan tetep aja dia datang untuk menuduh, untuk mengklarifikasi, untuk curhat secara halus. Anyway I don’t think this is important to tell. Ngok.

But I know finally I won >:D *you know what I mean*

That was soooooo last summer. So 2010.

But life is mistery, is like a book. You can find one name in one chapter and then unpredictably you’ll meet that name it another chapter. Like now. A several weeks a go I meet her as a new student. In my campus. I’m not surprise, btw. She smile, I smile. No talk. She still can see me even in my new look with this hijab now, she’s still pretty as always.

But one lesson in life that I can learn is maybe you can be friends with someone you ever loved, but you’ll never be friends with your rival. Trust me you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantttttttttttttttttt. Even the feeling for the guy has gone, has disappear, the feeling for that girl is never, never never never.

Never. With the capital N.

And yestesday I have a class, after that I with all of my classmates decided having early lunch at canteen, including him. Then my mood getting upside down when I sit together with all my friends and him then I realized that his ex is coming with all her damn beuty shine. Lil bit insecure. But try so hard to fix it. Everything is soooo over.

Dear you Barbie girl, we may smile each other but I’ll never forget one moment when you did blame me a thousand months ago.. go get him now if you want. =)

we are an eastern girls :p

this is me and my bilqis :D

if there ever was a real AWKWARD MOMENT (THEN THIS WAS IT)

have you ever thought that sometimes in our lives will happen exactly the same scene as in the movie?
dont know what the movie but like the movie hehehe stupid but true.
I experienced it, the story is silly but a bit difficult for me to tell here, because such too predictable if those people who did read it. I'll just save it for myself. hahahahaha.

there are people who are born to fall in love with us, as well as ourselves, we fall in love to others as well. love and like in my opinion is a different things . There are people who feel like us and then try to fight to get us no matter how hard for example to ask for help other people who also know us, like our friends or our family members, hope all becomes much easier with their help.

but what if we asked for help with the wrong people? with people who are not supposed to?
can you imagine if someone who likes you asking help to people who you ever loved? to people who used to be so close to you, to know you better? because he doesnt have any idea about the story between me and this other guy? because he didnt know about this and he is confused to who he'll get a help, because they were friends even not so close, because they are a guy, but the question is why do you wanna help him? why? why you both come? i know you've been confuse too, i know you miss my home *sigh*
hahahahahahaha

LETS IMAGINING EVERYONE XD

it's not so complicated because maybe you're no longer fallin love with this person anymore, and you dont like this someone who are having a crush on you.
but when the three of us sat on the porch of my house, talking about general things about college life the moment would be still ridiculous.
Because deep down inside all of us have our own story in our own heart, and many tangled threads in the head. nyahahaha.

fortunately I've grown too strong, I can through it with a smile to pretend all doing well hahahaha.
I know we both certainly very surprised by this, although there is one person who doesnt know what was happening between us before this. far far far before that night. :")


ps : my english, my vocabulary, my grammar and the structure of my sentences must be so bad. sorry.

sunday post

Hellowwwwwwwwww Sunday.

Baru aja selesai masak , heran kenapa Farah Quinn bias secantik itu kalo lagi masak, gue yang baru berapa jam di dapur udah berasa mirip bibik bibik yang gak mandi setaun dan punya anak 10. Kalo kata yukdesi “kumal of dekil”.

Capeeeeeeeeeeeeek sekaliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ditambah dengan kakak gue langsung lanjut bikin pempek. Dan paginya ke pasar keluarga dulu. Btw kenapa jug ague mesti nyeritain ini, entahlah. Hari ini hari minggu, berarti malem tadi malem minggu yaiyalaaah, surprisingly I had a lil chat with “monster” lastnight. He wants to come into my house, but I refuse him. Not that arrogant, I said I cant, then he asked me, you cant? Or you don’t want?

He knows me so well, even when I’m lying. Stop talking about this shit. Hahahaha I have to admit that sometimes I miss spending time with him, I didn’t miss him, I miss us. I miss the way we used to be. Our stupid laugh, our lame jokes, and our fighting of course.

But life goes on, we’re both happy now. With our own life. Alhamdulillah.

Oyaaa, my friend Har, nawarin kerjaan. Dia buka bisnis baru dan minta gue buat pegang keuangannya. Agak kaget dan terharu rasanya rejeki banget ya kalo ada temen yang nawarin kerjaan disaat keinginan shopping membeludak begini. Tp ntah kenapa gue ngerasa belum pantas atau belum layak, tepatnya gue pusing bagi waktu, ditambah dengan transportasi yg pastinya susah. Padahal Har bilang kerjaannya gak rumit, Cuma pegang uang dan dia gak ngasih kerjaan ini ke sembarang orang. Daripada nganggur. Begitu katanya. Tapi gue tolak : ( semoga Allah tidak marah.

Sekarang gue baru selesai mandi, dengan kebetean yang memuncak karena laptop baru aja diinstall minggu lalu dan gue gak berhasil menyelamatkan data paling penting sejagat raya yaitu folder yang judulnya ”future” yang isinya proposal MEP gue dan PROPOSAL SKRIPSI GUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Hidup memang kejam, in memoriam lah folder penting itu dan serta merta masa depan gue, *naudjubillah*

Tapi gak ada masalah yang gakbisa diselesain, jadi gue memutuskan untuk gak usah terlalu pusing. karena gue akan ke rumah kak riki buat ngambil data tsb :D

Sekian tulisan “penting” gue ini, gak peduli ada yang baca atau nggak. Hahaha

Have a lovely Sunday everyone.

harus pake judul banget ya -_____-

afternoon everyone. still friday here.

another unproductive day. i spend it with doing the house job like wash the plates, cooking, then cleaning. i enjoy it. itung itung latihan buat rumah kita nanti. EAAAAAA lalu menonton drama korea yang berjudul playfullkiss. trust me HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

terobsesi banget mau ngecover lagu kayak orang orang yang berbakat di youtube sana, pengen bikin video tapi apa daya gak camera face, dan akhirnya saya mendonlod beberapa lagu kesukaan saya insturmentalnya aja alias karoke version. buat apa? ya buat nyanyi dan buat di rekam hihihihi.

and you know what? my bbm is off today. i cant believe life without bbm would be menyenangkan seperti sekarang ini, detik ini, aman, tenang , damai, no cengkrang cengkreng, no tuntutan membalas, no pingpingping.
i just need my me time, without any distraction, including from you.
hehehehe

so people in the contact, enjoy your day without me.
if i have enough money i'll change my favourite fruits frop blackberry to apple. *sigh*

i just think my smart phone isnt smart anymore especially the users. pret.

ntah kenapa akhir-akhir ini lagi benci banget kalo diganggu padahal sebelumnya sering gangguin orang juga haha. ntahlah, i'm off, so catch me if you can :P

lagu yang paling sering gue denger minggu ini. tanya kenapa.

SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know

This could be the end of everything,
So why don't we go,
Somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know.

dont be surprise.

pengumuman dosen pembimbing skripsi gue udah keluar.
Jeng! Jeng! Jeng!
alhamdulillah sesuai skenario gue dapetin bu Sri. bu Sri adalah dosen senior yang cukup killer tapi juga motivator sejati. pertama kali diajar bu sri waktu itu jaman semester 4 *uhuk*
dia ngajarin mata kuliah Akuntansi Sektor Publik waktu itu gue dapet nilai A. kemudian ketemu lagi di kelas Akuntansi Keuangan Lanjutan 1. dan beliau adalah dosen pertama yang berani-beraninya ngasih gue nilai D. sekali lagi D. D saudara saudara!!!! D. T.T
memang guenya yang bego. gimana bisa sebelumnya gue dapet nilai A di ASP? lalu dapet nilai D di AKL. karena memang ASP lebih ke hapal menghapal dan ke nalar. sementara AKL? gue gatau gimana cara mengekspresikan kebencian gue ke pelajaran yang satu itu. gue pantes dapet D *sigh

lalu gue ketemu beliau kembali di pelajaran Audit Sektor Publik setengah semester gue diajar pakyudi yg mirip jospeh gordon levvit hahaha lalu dilanjutin oleh bu sri. bu sri orangnya tegas banyak tanya dan termasuk dosen yang "care" karena dia ngurusin cara berpakaian mahasiswanya -_-thats okay. di pelajaran audit sektor publik ini gue dapet nilai B+

setelah melewati 3 pelajaran bersamasama entah kenapa gue gak berhasil membuat bu sri at least tau nama gue *wondering* dia gak kenal gue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! padahal hampir semua dosen yg pernah ngajar gue selalu tau nama gue siapa, as one of the smart people in class lah yaaa *ditabok*

akhirnya gue sadar mungkin chemistry antara gue dan bu sri emang gakbisa dibangun sama sekali tp jujur gue mengagumi sosok beliau sebagai dosen yang walopun gue sempet patah hati karena dapet D. dan karena gue dapet D gue harus menjalani SP untuk pertama kalinya dan kembali bertemu bu sri di kelas Sp which is i try so hard to make her KNOW me. an we did.

setelah gue pikir pikir memang bu sri adalah dosen yang gue mau untuk membimbing gue dan skripsi gue kelak, dan alhamdulillah kita berjodoh :D
walopun dosen pembimbing 2 gue adalah pak Andi yg gue gak terlalu tau tp kenal. semoga lancar semoga tahun depan udah bisa jadi sarjana walopun harus mengubur dalam keinginan dibimbing oleh pak yudi atau bu yuliana sebagai dosen pembimbing dua. but thanks God. i have my bu Sri! :')

sleepy as hell

sleeping for only 4hours isnt enough. no i dont get insomnia last night. i just spend my night with watching all maroon 5's videos, i love you adam levine.
i need to sleeeeeeeep but i hate the fact that i have to wake up early morning to pray *of course* and to clean the house to wash the plates. damn i'm sleepy. :[

i wont say goodmorning because this morning isnt THAT good.

damn you, PMS

gue pernah baca sebuah tweet ditwitter tentang definisi cantik, jadi kira kira gini bunyinya "cewek cantik itu tidak menjadikan PMS untuk menutupi kesalahannya"
well, agak tergelitik juga gue bacanya ciaelaaaaah.
karena memang bener menurut gue kita sebagai kaum cewek sering kali mengkambinghitamkan si PMS ini dengan kalimat andalan. "maklum lagi dapet"

kebanyakan cewek memang ntah kenapa jadi cenderung emosian dan suka marah marah dan lebih senditif dari biasanya kalo dia lagi dapet. thats what we called premenstrual syndrome, Penyebab munculnya sindrom ini memang belum jelas. Beberapa teori menyebutkan antara lain karena faktor hormonal yakni ketidakseimbangan antara hormon estrogen dan progesteron. Teori lain bilang, karena hormon estrogen yang berlebihan. Para peneliti melaporkan, salah satu kemungkinan yang kini sedang diselidiki adalah adanya perbedaan genetik pada sensitivitas reseptor dan sistem pembawa pesan yang menyampaikan pengeluaran hormon seks dalam sel. Kemungkinan lain, itu berhubungan dengan gangguan perasaan, faktor kejiwaan, masalah sosial, atau fungsi serotonin yang dialami penderita. -google-

ntah kenapa gue mesti kudu melibatkan google dalam posting gue kali ini. hehehehehe.
nah sekarang gue lagi dapet, tapi PMS versi gue bukan PRA menstruation syndrome, tapi PASCA menstruation syndrome. itulah yang gue ga ngerti, kalo gue baru baru dapet, gak pernah ada masalah, seperti sakit perut yang berlebihan atau sensi yang menjadi jadi. gak pernah. sekali lagi gue bilang, gak pernah.

yang terjadi di gue adalah diakhir akhir menjelang mens gue selesai, everything seems SO WRONG. gue jadi cengeng, jadi sentimentil, jadi terlalu peka, jadi merendah rendah, jadi menyalahkan diri gue, membuat jengkel orang lain, jadi emosi dan gampang nangis banget, dan gue jadi ngeluh kesana kemari, and then you know all those shit things will happens, gue mulai menyalahkan SEMESTA. gue "sakit jiwa"

selebai itukah?
iya.

kayak tadi malem gue rasanya pengen banget nyakar nyakar muka kakak gue yang nyuruh gue ngetikin tugasnya yang ga nyampe 5 lembar, dan kemudian gue akan mengalami hari yang ribet dengan segala urusan yang bukan punya gue, ntah kenapa mungkin karena sugesti ke diri gue udah negatif semuanya jadi ikut negatif.
lalu kemudian gue nangis karena there are THOSE GUYS who keep bbming me with all those unimportant conversation dan maksa banget minta dibales lalu kemudian update status menjijikan. who the hell are you? kalo mau basa basi nyepik gak jelas jgn ke gue iiiiiiiiiiih pengen gue delete tu orang orang.

see? i keep complaining.
wuuuffffffffffffffffffffffffff -.-
hope this pasca menstruation syndrome will over soon.
have a nice day!