How’s life, by the way? I miss you, in my own way.
I have no idea whats going on here, but I think this is my fault, misunderstanding or whatever we called it. Suddenly you touched my life,i know your name but we are not friends, and when you "come" dont lnow why I’m so happy feels like I’ve been waiting for that time, how can? I never thinking of you before not a little nor at all,and I admit that you're so hard to forget,stranger. Of course you don’t. You’re busy, too busy to bother me. Who am I anyway? :)
They said everything’s happened for a reason, although I cant find the reason why you came, why you left, why I’m being so fucking addicted to you, to our conversation, to your jokes, to our big different mindset, I’m too drama, you said innocent, and you’re too care about something I’ve never payed attention before. Government. You’ve opened my eyes, too much trouble in this land where we live. you make me think life is not always about ourself, our country in a serious damaged hahaha.
Actually I’m not that hurt. I wonder why, and I wonder about you too. Your life might be great and you don’t need me now, never. I wont talking about diffences between us here, we both know that. Everyone knows. No its not about that.
Sometimes I find myself staring at your picture on my bbm contacts, and wondering if I should text you or not. Always want to know what you’re doing, but too scared to ask. Wanting to text, but always ending up with confusion. Everyday I’m wondering why you never text me anymore which you did that almost everyday. But I do believe you stop it because a good reason to your own good. Never mind cause you’re never mine.
Maybe you’ll think why I didn’t do it first,I let myself die waiting. No.. texting you first means giving up.. I’m keeping this emotion I’m having to stay awesome. Like I’ve told you: I’m not hurt at all, even after you’re gone. We both know just because we’re avoiding each other doesn’t mean we hate each other. I did texted for birthday wish sorry for disturbing,darling.
This post must be silly to read. Pathetic. Cheesy, yes, but human. Too Drama. but something inside my heart tells me that I should write this. I still need time to be fine.. Sound cliche, but yes, time is still the best remedy. It heals the wound but it can’t do anything with the scar that left. Don’t be bothered too much by “moving on” thingy. After all, moving on is nothing but a conceptual state of mind. The feeling, the pain, and the loss will never really leave. Wait wait wait… I’m not that hurt. i'm not in love :")
Still want to read this or not? Its up to you. Well I know I’m naïve. Don’t know why I thought.. when we often having communication or something.. I can feel that you really into me, I’m not that stupid to realized it. Correct me if I’m wrong, so tell me, don’t you?
I know i can’t blame people for losing feeling. If they lose it, they lose it. It’s not hard to understand.or maybe you don’t have the feeling at all, maybe this is only me and my stupid thought. Maybe you found someone better or maybe like what Summer says to Tom (500 days of summer)
“I wake up one day and I just knew,what I was never sure of with you”.
People change, time flies, but the feeling stays. if you want to blame them for something, blame them for not trying. But I wont blame you.. its just you. I deserved better. :”)
I’m not saying it’s easy, no I’m not. Its hard to let someone that you thought…… well I know you’ll go but I think not this fast, not like this, without any goodbyes. We were fine, then suddenly you act like you don’t know me.. what did I do wrong?
Don’t worry, I’m going to be okay, I’ve been going through the same pain before, but not as hard as this sih yaaa.. every summer has a story :”)
Still reading this? Or wanna throw up in my face? Hehe. I need few more weeks to be fine.. so lets enjoy this mellow drama, because who knows? Tomorrow wont be the same.
Life is not easy. Sometimes it’s difficult to wake up in the morning knowing that the other side is empty, you’re not there. looking up contact list hoping I see your updates, and the less pathetic: re-reading your timeline. It gets harder everyday i can’t really do anything to get my mind off of it. I don’t
really know how long I can keep it up.
So there it goes, I tweet. I speak alone. A monologue. Sometimes I discard it without send it. Sometimes I recheck my timeline and go delete it.
But I’m not missing you I just miss the cute smile that I had everytime I saw your random text. But you’re no longer doing that. And I feel stupid sometimes.. I have so much words to say to you but too late to start to text you, so I tweet that but too scared to mention you.. and damn it, my nomention is you.
I was never really sure this is important to you, maybe you don’t remember this at all. One thing I can be sure of, it’s something I mustn’t regret. What we had, though short, was enough to be kept as one of the chapter in my book of love. The chapter where I learn how love grows without knowing why, when, how and from where. It grows and I let it grow, because I know no other way to stop it from growing.
I know you’re reading this. And I want you to know that I’m writing this for you.
Take care, and thankyou.
PS: i’ll never fall in love the same way. But, i will fall in love again :))
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